Grace.....

This week like the last couple has been challenging in so many ways. We are learning on Grace and Holiness this week. It is an amazing topic that no matter how many times I hear: I AM LOVED for who I am, I just can't get it. God's grace is extremely hard to really actually grasp and understand. I mean really God loves us so much that he did EVERYTHING to make us see that. He sent his son to take our punishment. We are seen as righteous every time God looks at us because of what Jesus did for us. I seem to always think that in my life I have to perform for God to love me, that I just can't do enough to have him accept me. In all honesty, I AM TOTALLY WRONG, the more I think I can do it actually the more sinful I become. I fall into the sin of pride when I believe in myself, my actions, instead of just surrendering to God and accepting the infinite love he offers me. Even though I heard this same teaching 1 year ago, God is still able to speak into my life. I will never fully understand Gods grace and you know, I'm ok with that. It gives me something to continue to pursue in my walk with God. The more I strive to know him the more intimate I will be with Him and the more I will be able to hear him direct me as to where he wants me to go.

It has been a good week, nothing out of the normal has happened. I am still loving ALL the students, man I just can't get enough of them. I love being able to walk into the room and see 6 students here taking time to further their relationship with God. What an opportunity God has given me. I am starting to prepare my mind for our outreach to Haiti. I know that this is probably going to be the hardest period of my life. I can try to imagine what life in Haiti is like but in all reality I can't even come close to what it will be like. I know the poverty will shock me, the devastation that came from the hurricanes will be overwhelming, seeing the broken lives and the grip satan has on the people there... I know it will be hard but I also believe that God is taking us there for some reason and WE will prevail because God is with us and he's in control. I love the opportunity that lies ahead and I'm so excited to get our team out and experience God in new ways.

I have also been going to a mens bible study at our church here and that is so nice. It is great to be able to connect with other people out of the YWAM community that I live in. To have a time where I can just go and talk and take a short break from everything. The guys are really cool and although I'm the youngest one that goes it works. It's a group for 20-30 aged people so I'm kinda in the middle!! I started going to it last year while I was here and found it to be very refreshing to kinda slip away from the base and not constantly talk about YWAM. Missionaries need breaks from time to time also!!!

I have really been missing hunting this week, probably because I know everyone back home is hunting. It is now officially 4 years since I have hunted and GOSH DANG IT I MISS IT!!! One of these years I'll be back to go on a trek for a deer and possibly an elk. Speaking of deer, for those of you that don't know St. Croix does have a breed of deer!! I saw one a few weeks ago, not quite sure how to explain it, I think its kinda most like a mule deer. Very cool to see but unfortunately you cannot hunt them.... OH WELL, I must cut this off now because it's late and I have a 5:45 run in the morning that I must be rested up for. So until next week.

CrAzY TiMeS!

First of all I would like to apologize for not being able to post last week. As most of you know we had our friend Omar blow on by last Wednesday night!!! All I can say is THANK YOU ALL for your prayers!!! All day wed. we were hearing reports of how the storm would be a category 3 storm and it was projected to pass right over the top of us! I have to be honest I was pretty stinkin Stoked when I heard that. A hurricane with 100 to 125 mph winds oh man how exciting! We did not get hit with the hurricane as bad as we could have, it made a nice little shift in its pattern at the last minute and went to the east of us and didn't really hit any islands dead on like it was suppose to! Although there were still winds up to maybe 60 mph where we were. The east side of the island is in the worst shape obviously because it was closer there but I would guess it was nothing compared to what it could have been. We spent all afternoon putting boards on all our windows and preparing for the storm that night. I think it was such an awesome experience because we as staff had to really work together to get the whole base ready for the storm! Working in the rain all day long was great I loved it, it took us from about 12:30 to a little after six to get fully finished which due to the fact we have only one staff person that has ever been here for a hurricane telling us what to do wasn't a bad time. I'm sure if we ever get to do it in the future it will be a lot faster. WE all got to sleep in the great house which is just the main old plantation house here, where we have our class and everything. A HUGE rock and concrete building that is the safest place on base. We had 20 people stay in there and it was just an awesome time to hang out and fellowship!!!

A group of us were able to stay in the dining room during most the storm which is just a mostly open room with a roof. So we were able to watch the power of God bend and break trees and dump about 8-10 inches of rain. I actually got to out into the middle yard and feel the wind almost blow me down the steps and WOW it was incredible!!! We were learning about the voice of God in our teachings last week and I couldn't help but being reminded of a few verses in 1 Kings 19:11-13 Where God tells Elijah to stand on a mountain top and to wait for him to pass. He sends a mighty wind, earthquake, fire and finally a soft whisper and in that He speaks. In my bible it translates the mighty wind as a hurricane wind, and it was just such an awesome example of how God is capable of creating all this and we are always expecting Him to reveal himself in HUGE ways and most of the time it's the simple gentle voice that we have to listen specifically for.
It was an awesome exciting week we lost power that night and didn't regain it until Sunday evening! We had a generator so we were able to keep our kitchen appliances running and we hooked up our water pump so we were able to shower but our nights were filled with flashlights and kerosene lanterns!!! It sure was an experience that I am thankful it wasn't even close to being horrible, we only had to spend 2 days cleaning up our yard!

This week we are learning about The Father Heart of God and it is an incredible topic which obviously challenges us to see God as our Father. To try and get past the positive or negative perceptions that we have of our earthly fathers and draw near to our heavenly father. I honestly can't even express how great of an experience this is!!! I love the students that are here, they are so much fun to be around and to talk with. It is hard to believe that it has only been 2 1/2 weeks since I met them because it seems like the friendships have been around longer. We are learning how to function as a team and trust each other and be open with everyone. I feel this group is going to have amazing opportunities when we get to go on outreach and God is really going to use us in a special way to meet the needs of the Haitian people both spiritually and physically!!!! I am so excited to see what God is going to continue to do in each one of our lives in this time. It is such a perfect place to really find out who God is and to fall intimately in love with him more and more each day!!!

FINALLY HERE!!!

I can't tell you enough about how our 6 students are the most amazing students ever!!! What an amazing opportunity God has givenme at this time. It has only been 3 days of classes and God is already speaking to them in new ways. I have to say that by sitting in the class with them is awesome, I love the fact that I am basically taking a DTS again. We have 3 students from Pennsylvania, 1 from Michigan, 1 from Ohio, and an awesome student from Switzerland!!! I have spent the last 2 evenings just hanging out with the students getting to know them more on a personal level and it has been SO much fun. I am trying to pick up french from my swiss friend and that is going AMAZING let me tell you! He says I speak words like a baby in french, I figure I might pick up a little bit over the next 5 months. I keep thinking, all of the times that seemed like torture to me in the office leading up to these moments were totally worth every bit.

God is teaching me to continue to trust in Him. He is in complete control of every area of my life. He continues to bless me in so many ways I can't even begin to describe them. I have been seeking him and questioning areas of my life to make sure I am completely surrendered to him. The Fear of the Lord has been a huge interest of mine over the last few weeks. I have been striving to see what it really means to Fear him. I have gotten so many verses in my quiet times and been reading a few ideas on the fear of the Lord. It is not an easy thing to understand but I know that if I keep persevering God will give me wisdom and insight into how to apply that fear to the fullest in my life!

I am loving my job like nothing else before. I keep thinking to myself that I can't believe God has called me into this but everyday it becomes more comfortable to accept. I am so excited to see the ways the students will bond and the way we are used in ministry. WOW what an awesome opportunity that I can't seem to get enough of!!

Awestruck

I could waste my time telling you of how busy I have been in the office this week but that doesn't seem like fun!! This week has been such an amazing week in so many ways! I have found Joy in my crazy hard times in the office, which I know is by God's amazing work. I have so much excitement for the students to come and it has been so great to know finally after being here almost a month it is SHOW TIME!!! This is what I came here for, God has been preparing me for this season for a long time and now it is now! There has been a TON of final details put together this week and we are ready, well at least I am ready!!!

This week has been So amazing in my quiet times. For some crazy reason I wake up everyday without an alarm clock between 5:30 and 6. Since I have been here I have just used that time to do my devotions and bible reading. This week I returned to my habits of when i was here last year. Every morning I had the same problem of waking up but I would go to the top of the sugar mill and watch the sun rise and do my reading. GOD TOTALLY ROCKED ME, HE TOOK MY BREATH AWAY WITH HIS AMAZING WAYS! For the last 4 days I have sat up there listening to worship music and reading my bible while the sun rises and fills the morning sky with bright amazing colors, it is amazing. I love my devotion time with God anyways but man each day it is different and more colorful. It amazes me that God is so personal to us and we sometimes forget to even stop to pray in our lives. I have to say that God has renewed my passion for him and I have gotten even more excited about where I am at in my life. It is MY JOB to wake up and spend time with him, and to be in constant worship of him all throughout my day. Really it is so hard to not be in that position when I start my day seeing his creativity and amazing power in such an awesome way. It adds so much more intimacy to my times when I think WOW God knew when he created this sun that at this moment I would be staring at it and in complete Awe and worship of him. I know that I am seeing a sun rise that he has made personally for me!! I could go on and on but I think something I am really understanding is how great it really is to be where I am. Although it is far from all my family and friends and a long shot from a normal life, I couldn't be more content. Seeing God continually provide funds for me to stay here, and continue to challenge me in my faith and desire a deeper intimacy from me is Amazing. Today even I was still thinking about how God has made it so clear for me to be here and actually brought me here. It blew me away that I was so sensitive to his voice and I am walking in his will for my life! I feel so unworthy to be in the position I'm in but I know that God chooses to use the most imperfect people for his greatest work!!! I am so thankful that I can be one of the few he has chosen for this opportunity! It all begins now!!!